3 musts - (bear the length pls)
Every romance novel has some, little or all of what I am about to tell you. I am going to relate all details to the book I am reading (which is totally fabulous. *the guy is like a total hunk*)
Ok, lets cut to the chase.
1. An Asshole, the Bitch, or Both: Now I have known that there is always someone in the book that will cause so much drama. OMG, I want to hurt them so badly. It is required. You cannot have a good story without any bad guy. It moves the story. But do they always have to make us want to throw the book to the wall (and when we do, we always run to it and chant apologies)In the Duke, there are CURRENTLY, three assholes. One died, one almost died and one is an old man only wanting "whats best." (whats BEST. OMG! How about NOT!!)
The drama. The reason why he met her. The reason why he sought her. The reason why the hero is in pain is ALL linked to him (old man asshole), yet he is not a "bad guy." Just an old man, again, wanting "whats best." He wants the hero, who is 35 going on 36, to marry his deaf 16 yr old daughter. This daughter is IN LOVE with the hero's friend who is SO much younger. Like what..22? I think. I want them to be together. BE WITH HIM. The young dude. Not with Robert!!!!!!! He's in love with Bel, can't you see you old fart!
This whole drama shit is around their politics. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
*breathes*
sry. Moving on.
2. The Love Scene: The book has to have at least one fully detailed hot OMG hand tingling loovvvee scene. There HAS to be a love scene. It is required under the hidden law somewhere (and the publishers of course) What makes me MAD is that some books only have ONE scene. And its a BORE.
the hell, to the no!!!! If I wanted to read some dandy english poem, I would have read the dandy english poem. AND then they just write one "love" scene. OMGOSH. It makes me soo mad. If the author has a problem writing the "dirty sinful words," then by God, what a boring "romance" writer you are. If you despise writing in that profound way, then you shouldn't be a romance writer (who will totally make their readers hot for more.)
The Book I am reading now, so far, had two love scenes. Both were hot hot damn hot hot hot. Now this is a romance novel. Love scene I am talking about is when they make..love duh. Now, ha....in this book. They do more than...um stick the pencil in the cap.
Especially Miss Bel lol. She has a thing with his dick and her mouth. Those two bodily items are best buds, I am assuming, for life. LMAO.
Best if you read it. Lemme quote from one love scene, quickly.
Try not to come.
Robert came home with a headache and he was pissy. So she takes him to eat dinner, which was his favorite. Then she takes him to his study where she tells him to sit down while she played the piano. She relaxes him. He almost falls asleep until she walked to him and took his wine glass from him. -- onto quote:
before they "made love," btw.
"You're a handsome devil, Hawkscliffe. When you're not scowling, anyway. Put your head back."
He obeyed. She caressed, kneaded, and rubbed his neck and shoulders, silent at her work. To his surprise, her ministrations helped.
"Feels good?"
"Mmmm."
"Yes thats better, my love."
Brushing her knuckles silkily against both sides of his face and down his neck, she reached over his shoulder and unfastened a few more buttons down his shirt. Then she slid her hands inside of it, caressing his bare chest, exploring him.
He felt her unbutton his shirt the rest of the way until her silken hands brushed it open against his sides. The coolness of the air grazed his skin and the warmth of the nearby fire thinged his belled, warmed his groin.
As she reached over his shoulders, he felt her soft face beside his, nestling against his cheek as her hands glided across his chest and down his belly. His flesh raged with agonizing, craving life beneath her sweet, seeking touch. Anticipation swept through him like a fire, need such as her had never known with an lover in the past. He gripped the chair arms, waiting to see what she would do.
*turns page* (omg don't you hate that. RUINS THE MOMENT!!)
She kissed his ear and tongued his earlobe as he fell into her spell. He let out a grown when she molded her hand over his hardness through his black trousers, petting him. (she likes that word. PET. wtf)
Perhaps she was waiting to see if he would protest, but he could not, being completely in her thrall.
His chest heaved; he was poised and throbbing as she touched him then unfastened his trousers and slid her hand down inside.
He moaned and lifted his hips, hungry for more. She gave it, freed him completely from his trousers and stroked him, lightly at first and then more firmly. His hands curled over the chair arms with a white-knuckled grip.
She raked her fingers through the wiry hair on his chest and flicked his nipples with her tongue while, lower, she cupped her hand to his and fondled his rigid cock.
To his amazement she kissed her way back down his stomach. She licked a light, teasing circle around his navel then parted her moist lips and slowly, tentatively took the crown of his towering erection into her warm, wet mouth. He dropped his head aback against the chair with a delicious groan and touched her silky hair. She sucked him lovingly, her warm, firm hands vigorously stroking all the while to the very root of him and gently caressing him everywhere.
After several mins of sheer bliss, she glanced up with a wicked little harlot smile, the stuff of schoolboys' dreams, running the tip of her tongue up the length of him. She caught his eye and bent her head again, swirling her tongue around and around his ultra-sensitive time, while keeping his gaze.
ok. calm down. OY...calm down! lol
That my friends is one helluva love scene. Now to some readers that might just be the basic of them all but compared to the la-ze-dah love scene earlier, its a tad bit more of a damned scene.
This book does not bore you at all lol. No sir-ee. nada.
3. Infidelities: Usually in romance novels, there are bastards from bad husbands.
Then there are stories about them, thus making series about the rowdy bastards of soso.
The Duke, and its series, are different. Its the mom. The mom aka the Hawkscliffe Harlot. She had THREE lovers and four children from them WHILE being married and having two other children. Five boys and one girl. All the boys are hot, of course, especially the baby boy..ooh. I'd bang him in a heartbeat!! Robert and the sister are legit while the four other boys are deemed lords, but everyone knows....different papa, for every single ONE of them, except the twins. Yea. She had twins too. I am wondering if this a true story. Wouldn't that be great? Lemme google real quick. No. Not by the name of Hawkscliffe Harlot but there should be a harlot like that somewhere, surely it'll be interesting to read about.
4. Reading fast: I like to read read read. OMG, read read read. Whats next? Whats gonna happen, UNTIL I see that I have a paragraph left and its over.THEN for some reason I get SOOO mad. Why'd I read it so fast? NOOOO.
Then we take like a 30 min break and crack open the book, lol. It is soo weird how we are soo dependent on reading. Doesn't that sometimes scare you? Man, it does to me. If I don't read, I literally go crazy. I get bitchy, I break out, I get stressed, and I want to kick a cat. Then I touch a book, read a few pages and it cures me. Again, doesn't that (sound) crazy.
AND you don't go acting like "omg, keisha. You sooooh weeiiird", because you go through something similar like that. I know I aint the only weird romance bookworm in this part of the universe. Its like a drug. Honestly. And like all druggies: we pay for our obsession, we do it everyday, we talk about it all the time, we think about it all the time, and we cannot wait to find the TIME to crack open that book so we can just get in that paragraph so you finish the page.
I can't believe I hated reading was little. Odd, eh.
I haven't ventured into books a million again to see if mr. laptop was there. I doubt he would be. And yes, roberto and steven are long gone in my mind. YET, when I walk past roberto, I still look at him. His flowy blonde sexy hair, which I want to run my hands through............
Anyway, I wrote tons, including sexxx, you had your fill.
Happy Thursday.
Ok, lets cut to the chase.
1. An Asshole, the Bitch, or Both: Now I have known that there is always someone in the book that will cause so much drama. OMG, I want to hurt them so badly. It is required. You cannot have a good story without any bad guy. It moves the story. But do they always have to make us want to throw the book to the wall (and when we do, we always run to it and chant apologies)In the Duke, there are CURRENTLY, three assholes. One died, one almost died and one is an old man only wanting "whats best." (whats BEST. OMG! How about NOT!!)
The drama. The reason why he met her. The reason why he sought her. The reason why the hero is in pain is ALL linked to him (old man asshole), yet he is not a "bad guy." Just an old man, again, wanting "whats best." He wants the hero, who is 35 going on 36, to marry his deaf 16 yr old daughter. This daughter is IN LOVE with the hero's friend who is SO much younger. Like what..22? I think. I want them to be together. BE WITH HIM. The young dude. Not with Robert!!!!!!! He's in love with Bel, can't you see you old fart!
This whole drama shit is around their politics. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
. . .
*breathes*
sry. Moving on.
2. The Love Scene: The book has to have at least one fully detailed hot OMG hand tingling loovvvee scene. There HAS to be a love scene. It is required under the hidden law somewhere (and the publishers of course) What makes me MAD is that some books only have ONE scene. And its a BORE.
They entwined their arms and kissed each other passionately. Thegirl's spirits rose to the heaven's while she was transfixed on the pure sinful pleasure she found Theguy. It curned and it rolled like the sea until finally they exploded into something Thegirl never knew while Theguy rolled to his side and carried her with him.
the hell, to the no!!!! If I wanted to read some dandy english poem, I would have read the dandy english poem. AND then they just write one "love" scene. OMGOSH. It makes me soo mad. If the author has a problem writing the "dirty sinful words," then by God, what a boring "romance" writer you are. If you despise writing in that profound way, then you shouldn't be a romance writer (who will totally make their readers hot for more.)
The Book I am reading now, so far, had two love scenes. Both were hot hot damn hot hot hot. Now this is a romance novel. Love scene I am talking about is when they make..love duh. Now, ha....in this book. They do more than...um stick the pencil in the cap.
Especially Miss Bel lol. She has a thing with his dick and her mouth. Those two bodily items are best buds, I am assuming, for life. LMAO.
Best if you read it. Lemme quote from one love scene, quickly.
Try not to come.
Robert came home with a headache and he was pissy. So she takes him to eat dinner, which was his favorite. Then she takes him to his study where she tells him to sit down while she played the piano. She relaxes him. He almost falls asleep until she walked to him and took his wine glass from him. -- onto quote:
before they "made love," btw.
"You're a handsome devil, Hawkscliffe. When you're not scowling, anyway. Put your head back."
He obeyed. She caressed, kneaded, and rubbed his neck and shoulders, silent at her work. To his surprise, her ministrations helped.
"Feels good?"
"Mmmm."
"Yes thats better, my love."
Brushing her knuckles silkily against both sides of his face and down his neck, she reached over his shoulder and unfastened a few more buttons down his shirt. Then she slid her hands inside of it, caressing his bare chest, exploring him.
He felt her unbutton his shirt the rest of the way until her silken hands brushed it open against his sides. The coolness of the air grazed his skin and the warmth of the nearby fire thinged his belled, warmed his groin.
As she reached over his shoulders, he felt her soft face beside his, nestling against his cheek as her hands glided across his chest and down his belly. His flesh raged with agonizing, craving life beneath her sweet, seeking touch. Anticipation swept through him like a fire, need such as her had never known with an lover in the past. He gripped the chair arms, waiting to see what she would do.
*turns page* (omg don't you hate that. RUINS THE MOMENT!!)
She kissed his ear and tongued his earlobe as he fell into her spell. He let out a grown when she molded her hand over his hardness through his black trousers, petting him. (she likes that word. PET. wtf)
Perhaps she was waiting to see if he would protest, but he could not, being completely in her thrall.
His chest heaved; he was poised and throbbing as she touched him then unfastened his trousers and slid her hand down inside.
He moaned and lifted his hips, hungry for more. She gave it, freed him completely from his trousers and stroked him, lightly at first and then more firmly. His hands curled over the chair arms with a white-knuckled grip.
She raked her fingers through the wiry hair on his chest and flicked his nipples with her tongue while, lower, she cupped her hand to his and fondled his rigid cock.
To his amazement she kissed her way back down his stomach. She licked a light, teasing circle around his navel then parted her moist lips and slowly, tentatively took the crown of his towering erection into her warm, wet mouth. He dropped his head aback against the chair with a delicious groan and touched her silky hair. She sucked him lovingly, her warm, firm hands vigorously stroking all the while to the very root of him and gently caressing him everywhere.
After several mins of sheer bliss, she glanced up with a wicked little harlot smile, the stuff of schoolboys' dreams, running the tip of her tongue up the length of him. She caught his eye and bent her head again, swirling her tongue around and around his ultra-sensitive time, while keeping his gaze.
ok. calm down. OY...calm down! lol
That my friends is one helluva love scene. Now to some readers that might just be the basic of them all but compared to the la-ze-dah love scene earlier, its a tad bit more of a damned scene.
This book does not bore you at all lol. No sir-ee. nada.
3. Infidelities: Usually in romance novels, there are bastards from bad husbands.
Then there are stories about them, thus making series about the rowdy bastards of soso.
The Duke, and its series, are different. Its the mom. The mom aka the Hawkscliffe Harlot. She had THREE lovers and four children from them WHILE being married and having two other children. Five boys and one girl. All the boys are hot, of course, especially the baby boy..ooh. I'd bang him in a heartbeat!! Robert and the sister are legit while the four other boys are deemed lords, but everyone knows....different papa, for every single ONE of them, except the twins. Yea. She had twins too. I am wondering if this a true story. Wouldn't that be great? Lemme google real quick. No. Not by the name of Hawkscliffe Harlot but there should be a harlot like that somewhere, surely it'll be interesting to read about.
4. Reading fast: I like to read read read. OMG, read read read. Whats next? Whats gonna happen, UNTIL I see that I have a paragraph left and its over.THEN for some reason I get SOOO mad. Why'd I read it so fast? NOOOO.
Then we take like a 30 min break and crack open the book, lol. It is soo weird how we are soo dependent on reading. Doesn't that sometimes scare you? Man, it does to me. If I don't read, I literally go crazy. I get bitchy, I break out, I get stressed, and I want to kick a cat. Then I touch a book, read a few pages and it cures me. Again, doesn't that (sound) crazy.
AND you don't go acting like "omg, keisha. You sooooh weeiiird", because you go through something similar like that. I know I aint the only weird romance bookworm in this part of the universe. Its like a drug. Honestly. And like all druggies: we pay for our obsession, we do it everyday, we talk about it all the time, we think about it all the time, and we cannot wait to find the TIME to crack open that book so we can just get in that paragraph so you finish the page.
I can't believe I hated reading was little. Odd, eh.
I haven't ventured into books a million again to see if mr. laptop was there. I doubt he would be. And yes, roberto and steven are long gone in my mind. YET, when I walk past roberto, I still look at him. His flowy blonde sexy hair, which I want to run my hands through............
Anyway, I wrote tons, including sexxx, you had your fill.
Happy Thursday.
1 people stopped by
Somebody is so not over Roberrrto! LOL. Dude maybe he likes you and is too shy to say anything? How do we know it's over before it begings?!?! This sounds just like a romance novel. LOL.
OK, that was one helluva list there and I gotta say that I don't need a love scene so long as the author manages to show me and make me believe this people love each other...a la Austen.
Post a Comment
<< Home